PFL: Be upside-down

this isn't me...yet.  via

So I went to CrossFit today.  I'd looked over the WOD beforehand and it seemed doable - some not-too-crazy-heavy deadlifts and cleans and that was pretty much it.  Awesome sauce.  I get there just as the previous group was finishing up their cleans, and I try to make it through the gauntlet of snappy hips and flying barbells to drop my stuff at the cubbies.

Oh hey, who's that?  It's the lovely and talented Dr. Shirey, who promised to spot me on handstands...er, sometime.  Hey...now is sometime.  Um.  Right.

I thought about just smiling and not talking, but that would be totally weak.  As I walk by her, my mouth immediately says "So, handstands?"  Damnit, reactive brain!  You will get me killed.  No going back now.  "Yeah!" she says.  "After the WOD?"  Sure...but now I'm thinking about supporting my entire bodyweight with my arms right after lifting heavy-ish stuff multiple times.  Hm.  Hmmmmm.

The WOD wasn't actually that tough.  I may have unintentionally sandbagged it a little because the day I figured out my current 1RMs was a few months ago now and I'm already considerably stronger.  But my form on the cleans can definitely use some work, so we can just count it as a skill day.  So:

• 10 sets of 2 reps on the minute of banded deadlifts at 85lbs (sadly yes, that WAS about 60% of my last measured 1RM) getting up as quickly as possible (I slowed it down considerably on the way down instead of just dropping the bar)
• 12 sets of one full clean and one hang clean (both with a full squat) on the minute at 65lbs.  Decent, but honestly not heavy enough for me to feel like I had to engage my hips all that much. Which is a good thing, especially as the scary elite who watched me totally fail at hang-cleaning 95lbs a few months ago was there.  I didn't fail this time.

And then everyone started doing banded good mornings - step on a band and wrap the other end behind your neck, then bend over and straighten up a bunch of times - which just looks ow and also kind of like Dave just found a sneaky way to get everyone to bow to him.  So obviously handstands are so, so much easier, especially with the ever-fabulous Ms. Scott volunteering to spot me on the other side.  She and Kristen told me they were total Hercu-Lisas and would never let me fall on my head so that I'd have to spend the rest of my days typing out slow but inspiring prose with my eyelids.  In fact, they were going to each grab one of my ankles with their pinky and parade me around the gym.  Why?  Because they're motherfucking bamfs and they CAN, that's why.

Kristen was amazingly helpful and spent a lot of time telling me about how there's an actual physiological reason for why some people start crying uncontrollably when they're put upside-down (yes!  science!), and showed me a couple of ways to start kicking up against the wall and told me the story of when she was learning to do handstands with Dave spotting her, and also demonstrated some absolutely beautiful handstands numerous times and actually was able to look up at my face WHILE she was doing them, which is absolutely inconceivable to me.  And then after enough stalling, it was my turn.

By this time Amy had joined us and I had a fitness goddess on either side of me ready to catch me, so there was really no reason not to.  Except, you know, my BRAIN telling me that the second I kicked up I would fall down/up towards my feet and crash through the roof into the sky and fall into space.  God DAMNIT, brain.  But I knew it was crazytalk and there was only one way to shut it up.

Crouch.

Set up my hands.

Put my feet in position, one behind the other.

Try to stop at least the necessary parts of my body from shaking.

Shut my eyes as tightly as possible.

And...kick.

I probably went about a foot off the ground on the first try, but it felt like a freaking barrel roll.  But I didn't die.  Amy and Kristen were yelling wonderful encouraging things that I cannot for the life of me remember.  And so I did it again.  And again.  Kristen showed me the approximate angle my body was reaching, which was way more than I thought it was...that's good, right?  But honestly it was too terrifying to think about the fact that I was actually doing it, so I just did it again.  And another time.  And then a few more.  And then Team Hercu-Lisa grabbed my ankles and spotted me all the way into a full handstand.

I wish I could remember it better.  I was so focused on locking my shoulders and elbows out and not opening my eyes and trying to ignore the fact that I was honest-to-gods upside-down under at least half my own power for the first time in my LIFE that it was all kind of blurry.  And then I was saying "put me down now down please now yes down" and then I was down and not crying, by some miracle.

I did it.

And then I wrote it on the PR board and totally forgot to take a picture, but next time I promise.  Because there will be a next time.  And my goal for that one is open my damn eyes already and don't forget how gravity works.

Commenters: leave me more ideas of what to do for Project Fear Less.

-N

How to heal

I got to stop by CFD yesterday, and it was so amazing!  I didn't stay for a very long time, just enough to say hi to a bunch of people and show off my shoulder and how it's hooked up to a bunch of electrodes, so I can make it twitch.

Seeing all the lovely active sweaty people made me realise I need to stop sulking about being a one-armed wonder and start living the "wonder" part while making the "one-armed" part as short and impermanent as possible.  So here's my game plan.  Some of these points I'm already following; others I'm going to start incorporating.  As always, any and all comments and suggestions are welcome!

DIET
With a few exceptions that I'll note below, I'm going strict paleo until I'm healed enough to use my arm again.  The reasoning is pretty simple: it promotes reduction/avoidance of inflammation, which in turn helps avoid infection and speeds healing.  I've also been using an ice pack and occasional doses of ibuprofen, as my shoulder still seems to me to be a little swollen (no redness, oozing or other signs of infection, though).

I've also been keeping half an eye on portions, though I'm not actually counting calories.  Reason is that I know my BMR is about 1500 cals/day when I don't factor in any activity, and I haven't been very active at all lately.  This isn't too much of an issue, since the sudden and dramatic decrease in exercise and activity means my appetite dropped to almost nil.  However, I do tend to binge-eat when I'm bored, and ennui has been the main emotion of late.  The times I have caved, I've kept it pretty paleo, though, so that's a semi-victory.  A better fix is finding something to erase the boredom, and I'm working on that.

My exceptions to the paleo rule are mostly driven by the fact that I'll be staying with my godparents for a couple weeks while my parents are on vaycay and I'm still pretty helpless.  They keep chickens in their backyard!  I'm also expecting to encounter

• delicious homemade fermented things (like sauerkraut, not beer), as well as
• happy milk!  that is, not all cooked and nastified, just as pure as Bessie intended (wink wink)

In addition, I'm fully planning to deviate from strictitude when I just want some goddammn chocolate already.

EXERCISE

So far, this has consisted of one leisurely two-mile stroll around the neighborhood a few days ago.  I attempted some squats and one-arm push-ups against the arm of the couch the same day, but I was still pretty shaky from the meds and it didn't work out very well.  Since then, however, I've focused on cutting down severely on the meds, and I think I'm finally close enough to myself again to attempt another try.  Besides walking, which I intend to do at least once a day, I've come up with

• squats
• pistols, once I'm up for it
• one-armed push-ups off the wall or the arm of the couch
• side plank holds
• front one-armed plank holds, once I'm up for it
• sit-ups
• one-armed kettlebell stuff

As soon as I can do more than just slow controlled movements (I don't know how long that'll be), I'll start working bouts of slow running into my walks, preferably barefoot, as well as jumps onto low objects, like stairs.  At the moment, any movement that causes me to tense up my body and thus my shoulder involuntarily or quickly is fairly painful.

For my right arm: officially I'm still not supposed to take it out of the sling unless I'm showering or doing the only prescribed exercises, which consist of straightening my elbow and bending my wrist, 20 reps at a time, 3 times a day.  I've been taking it out of the sling and letting it rest on  a pillow in my lap as much as I can, working my wrist and hand, as well as bending and straightening my arm when I'm standing with it hanging by my side.  There's little to no pain associated with these movements, or with slow isolated shrugs (of which I'm still doing VERY few, just to be safe), mostly just joint stiffness.  I'm pretty worried (read: totally paranoid) about losing muscle mass, though, so in my eyes it looks like my arm's already transformed into this shrunken blobby thing from a week of disuse.  Meh.

MEDICATION/MEDICAMENTS

Like I've mentioned before, I'm been prescribed some pretty serious meds for the pain, which all the doctors told me numerous times was going to be quite considerable.  The first several days it was bad enough that I was popping pills like a toddler eating jelly beans off the floor of a movie theater.  Side effects included being awake for like 4 hours a day, not wanting to eat anything at ALL and getting seriously backed up in the ol' GI department (tmi, sorry!  but something you should definitely be aware of if you ever have to take these), as well as being super shaky and out of it whenever I was awake.  Now the discomfort has shrunk to more manageable levels, so I'm trying to do without the scrips as much as possible, relying more on ibuprofen or my handy dandy shoulder electrifier during the day, then taking meds at night if I need the help to get comfortable enough to sleep.  

To help with the anti-inflammation, I'm taking between 6 and 9 capsules of fish oil every day.  I'm also drinking a couple glasses of Metamucil+water and at least 4 6-oz cups of fully caffeinated coffee every day to help combat the aforementioned particularly unfortunate side effect, and it is totally working.  The more you know...

REST

At this point I'm just trying to get back into a normal awake-during-daylight-hours schedule, and get between 8 and 10 hours of sleep at night.  But sometimes naps are an awesome way to pass the time.

So there you have it!  My genius plan to take over the world be a total badass again as soon as possible.  What do you guys think?  

PS:  Here's me being extremely pouty a day or two after the surgery:

...and here's me right after I was finally able to take a SHOWER!  And put on REAL CLOTHES!  And a BRA!  I tell ya, bathing never felt so good.

(btw yes I know my clothes don't match at all.  it was the first thing I could put on after over 72 straight hours of that damn hospital gown, and I wanted some COLOR!)

-Nelly

Eleven Goals Not Based On Weight (slightly NSFW)

I've been thinking lately about my renewed resolve to ignore the scale.  I don't care to tie my view of my health to a number that's so wildly variable.  And as much as I try to focus on other markers, the feelings associated with specific numbers are insidious - I can't ever seem to forget that the proper "healthy" weight for a woman my height is somewhere around 135-142, even though I know I'm carrying a hell of a lot more muscle than average and the number's probably skewed to start with.  I don't like feeling gross when I realise that my weight is nearly the same as my 6-foot tall male friend, when I should be reminding myself of the fact that my bench press is considerably closer to that number than his is.

So the scale is out.  Problem is, it's probably the easiest marker of progress to track with any objectivity* - I can go just by how my clothes fit, but it's hard to quantify that.  Solution: come up with other goals.  I tried to make a mix of both appearance/body-based goals and ones based on awesome things I want to be able to do.  Which is of course all that matters in the end.  But I'd kind of like to look hot while doing them.  These are very roughly in reverse order of want, meaning #1 is definitely #1 but the rest are just thrown about.

11.  Have guns like Batty

...meaning not only totally beasting it, but also sporting pretty pretty tats.  If you haven't read Batty's blog, you need to go over there and do it like NOW. I yoinked this particular pic from this post, which I absolutely love and advise everyone to bookmark the page.  This is the one I used to convince a beautiful healthy teenage employee of mine that she really did not need to lose 20 lbs, nor should she ever shy away from being strong and capable for the sake of some twisted, narrow image of "beauty."  And it worked.  Yay Melbell!

10. Do a muscle-up



 Useful for climbing walls, escaping the bad guys and generally being a ninja.  Impressive as all hell.  What's not to love?

9. Get to 22% body fat
No matter what my size, I've always been proportionally bigger in the regions of T&A (the former more than the latter, but both overall).  I figure 22%, mixed with the fact that a lot of that is going to stay with Ralphie and Louie, is probably low enough to give me abs while staying totally healthy.

8. Do a cat pass/kong vault/whatever you call it


Again with the getting-away-from-bad-guys.  This one's an especial dream of mine, as it was the one move in the Fundamentals of Parkour class with Colin that I really couldn't even begin to do, reason being that my shoulder slipped out of joint the first time I tried it.  That's an ongoing problem that I'm finally taking care of - I actually got the arthrogram and MRI of my shoulder done today...which is why I'm inside writing instead of at CFD doing presses.

7. Have that line down the middle of my abs

I'm not asking for a full-on six-pack, but I think the look of this is really nice.  Plus, it's Maggie Gyllenhaal in Agent Provocateur.  No one loses here.

6. Run a 7-minute mile.  Preferably barefoot.
I've always been a distinctly "meh" runner.  Not too great at either speed (except for really, really short bursts) or distance (I doubt I've ever gone more than about 3 or 4 miles at one time, ever).  But it's useful.  And fun.  And apparently we're all designed to do it.  So yeah.

5. Have dimples of Venus

via

You cannot tell me that's not hot as all hell.  Even with the plumber's crack.  Or maybe even more so because of it, depending on your taste.  Right now, I can feel where those are supposed to be but I can't quite see them yet.

4. Do a freestanding handstand

via

...unless my spotter is a young, shirtless Sean Connery.

  3. Have a perfect 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio

via

Simply put, it's the universal, evolutionarily-ordained marker of human feminine attractiveness.  For a bonus, try and name all the ladies shown above.  I got three.

2. Deadlift 300 lbs

via

That's a hell of a lot.  Almost twice my bodyweight.   For a lady, that's pretty damn decent.  It's also an enormous number that I can brag about.

And the number one thing I'm working towards...

THIGHS THAT DON'T TOUCH!
Partly to look good.  Mostly so I can actually buy nice jeans and pants and not have my monster thighs shred the insides of them within months.  This has happened to every single pair of real pants I've ever had, and some of the stretchy ones too.  When I'm pantsless, I love my thighs and what they can do (just ask The Man, wink wink nudge nudge).  But any other time, they are literally Why We Can't Have Nice (leg-covering) Things.  And they chafe.  Ow.

And there's my list.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Comments?  What would you use for your own?

-Nelly
*since I still can't find the damn tape measure.

Here goes my dignity...

Alternate title for this post: The One Where Nelly Strips.  Just get it all out there.

First off, the method:  I'm doing this 21-day cleanse-y type dealio, coached through it by Stew, one of the dudes who teaches at CrossFit Durham.  On Monday he measured all the stats I'm about to share and gave me the wherewithal to do the diet.   There's a series of capsules to take along with a couple huge tubs of protein powder to replace what I'm no longer getting from bacon *tear*  It works like an elimination diet - get all the possible bad stuff out all at once, then slowly introduce it back and see how you feel.  Which means for the first week, I'm pretty much vegan.  The shakes* aren't too bad yet, but I honestly think I might murder someone for an omelette by Saturday.  For a steak...I don't even want to speculate.

Now, the stats.

Weight: 160.  Higher than I thought it would be, but not too bad.

BMI: 25.06.  This is classified as overweight.  I can lift over 200 pounds, jump over 30 inches and I did barefoot sprints on the road today.  'Nuff said.

Body Fat Percentage: 26.3.  This means I've got about 42 pounds of fat and 118 pounds of lean mass.  That's definitely a little higher than I'd like, which is one of the reasons I'm doing this.  The tricky part is getting the abs and keeping the T&A.

Total Body Water: 43.3L/59.7%.  Stew says this should be closer to 70%; I guess I'm a little dehydrated.

Basal Metabolic Rate: 1540 kCal/day.  One of the goals is to raise this, which is done by gaining muscle.  Yes please!

Daily Energy Expenditure: 2002 kCal.  I don't know what this one means.  Anyone?

Waist: 30.5 inches

Hips: 41 inches.  So I've got a waist-to-hip ratio of right about 0.75.  Which, biologically speaking, means I'm sexy.  Awesome.

And now the pics.  Warning: although Bea is the most amazing photographer ever, she couldn't disguise my post-WOD sans makeup glory.  View at your own risk.

My bra is full of sand.

There's dust and dirt coating my skin, in my hair and my eyes,  crunching in my teeth and between the waistband of my pants and my skin.  My knees are covered in bruises.  There's also a nice one blossoming on my back, right in the middle of my spine.  My forearms, shoulders, upper back and pretty much every other exposed piece of skin is sporting a lovely shredded look from slamming into the gritty ground over and over.  And I cannot wait to do it all over again.

Ok, ok, I'll explain.

Yesterday I spent one of the most amazingly fun (G-rated) hours I've had in years, here:

via

with this dude:

via

Don't be jealous, ladies.  He charges by the hour and you can schedule a lesson or six at his site.

For this past Christmas, my dad got me caveman/ninja/parkour/ape lessons from Colin, to be used whenever I could fit them in.  The group lessons always seemed to fall at a time when I couldn't make it, so we finally decided to use part of my dad's gift towards a one-on-one lesson just to get things rolling (so to speak) and use the rest up whenever I can.  And omgz it was SO worth it.

Surprisingly enough, there was no crawling in this day's warm-up.  There were, however, squats and high knees and butt-kickers and skipping and broad jumps, which WOW do I ever suck at and I felt like a total fool doing them.  But now I know kind of what to practice to not look quite so foolish.

When Colin and I discussed what we wanted to cover in the lesson, I told him running and falling, as those seem to be my downfalls (hah!) for most of my big exercise failures.  We started out with break falls, which I kind of remembered from  my jiu-jitsu days, but the way he teaches them are aikido-based, so much less focus on heavy impact and "just get used to it, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  His method is much softer, rounder, gentler, working with the ground as opposed to fighting against it.  Not what I'm used to, but much less pain than I was expecting.  So, good.

Then we moved on to rolling.  Now, let me say this.  When I was doing jiu-jitsu, rolls were pretty much the one major thing I could never get.  No matter how much I practiced, it just never clicked.  I think most of that is due to an intense visceral fear of being upside-down, which causes me to block out the time between the entry into and exit from the roll - I remember going into it, and I remember coming out of it, but that moment in the middle is a total blank.  If I can neither focus on in the moment nor remember after the fact anything about my position, I can't improve on it.  So I thought.

Well, apparently all those hours of practice, even as they were filling me with despair and pouty feelings, instilled some kind of muscle memory, because I didn't totally suck at rolling.  I still kind of sucked.  And I can't roll straight.  But I can roll.  What's more, I can roll on my left side.  Actually better than the right side, probably because my brain won't handle the switch at all so I have to just turn it off and go.  It was amazingly exhilarating and I'm still grinning just thinking about it.

After rolling, when I was finally completely covered in dirt, we had a little while left to focus on running.  I'd worn my crazy awesome toe shoes for most of the time, but when you're getting barefoot running lessons from an actual caveman ninja, you kind of have to go completely barefoot.  I really really should have gotten a picture of this because I want to show you Colin's feet compared to mine.  You don't think about posture of the foot very much, but there are very noticeable differences once you look.  Even my feet, which are relatively flexible and strong from my dancing days, look practically newly-unbound next to his.  And no, Finn, I don't have a foot fetish.  At least, not a sexual one.  I'll get a picture.  Then you'll understand.

We started this bit out with just plain walking.  That is, normal old heel-toe walking, across the stage area of the theater.  Even when going barefoot, as we both were, you can hear a soft but distinct crunching thud as the heel comes down with every footfall.  Then we walked back, this time going toe-heel, or "fox-walking."  The difference is more noticeable than you'd think, even at a similar pace.  This was repeated several more times, slowly getting into a very quick short stride, almost a shuffle.  At this point it's hard not to break into a soft run, which is what we moved to next.

There's so many different points to think about when your body's not used to this type of movement - land on outer-ish forefoot and push off middle-ish forefoot but don't run on your toes and don't really push off, just pick your feet up; keep your body a stacked column but a leaning stacked column, like the Tower of Pisa; move your arms but not like that; keep your ankles relaxed (bwuh?); don't flex your foot all the way (as I do every single time); etc etc zomguh!  I think I kind of got it a couple times, when we moved out of the theater and were running up and down the road for more room.  Trouble is, I get all Zen'd out and want to just close my eyes and float along whenever I get into that zone.  Not quite the best thing to do when running near moving cars.

And then we were done.  I stayed a little bit and we chatted about feet and posture and how the dawn of agriculture was really where it all started to go downhill and maybe we shouldn't have come down from the trees at all.  That kind of thing.  And I left covered in dirt and sweat and bruises and rashes on my arms from throwing myself face down on the sand so damn many times, but positively bouncing with excitement for the next time I get to do it all.  I'll keep you all posted on my gradual but inevitable evolution into a sexy bad-ass cavelady/ninja/traceuse!

Also you all really need to check out Colin's site.  He has a whole lot to say about nearly everything, and almost all of it makes sense.

-N

Six inches can seem like a lot more than it is

...and I'm not even referring to the naughty context! 

Finally, a CrossFit Update!  I've been out of the gym with the flu of death for the last week and a half, so it was awesome to get back into the swing of things.  Here's what I've been doing:

Tuesday

Strength

• 50 strict GHD machine back/hip extensions (the third move shown in this video.  Turn your sound down before you hit the link; it's got loud screamy music).  These kind of terrify me - as does anything where I'm in an upside-down-ish position - especially as the machine has the tendency to wobble a lot.  Coach Peter Parker (aka Rich)  helped out by holding my ankles while I did the move.  Don't laugh.  It helped a lot.  Thanks, Rich :)

WOD: Birthday WOD for Coach Too-Cute-To-Hate (aka Mike).  Yay!
AMRAP for 9 minutes:

• 9 deadlifts
• 6 squat cleans
• 3 jerks (I did split jerks for the first round and then push jerks)

Got 5 full rounds and 5 more deadlifts out of that, with 65lbs on the bar.  Then, after 3 minutes rest:

• AMRAP burpees for 3 minutes.  I totally lost count here and have no idea what I did.

The "six inches" thing comes into play here: for each burpee, we had to jump at least 6 inches high.  After a dozen of these, you kinda start to feel it.

Wednesday

Strength: 20ish minutes of L-sit progressions/practice.  I can only get about 10 seconds, but it's pretty solid.

WOD: freaking insane, and I kind of sucked at it.
4 rounds for time of:

• 500m row
• 3 rounds of "Cindy:" 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, 15 air squats

So for every round there's a total of 500m row, 15 pull-ups, 30 push-ups and 45 air squats.  Monster bitch.  I had to sub out one-handed KB snatches for push-ups on the last round because my shoulder slipped, but other than that it was straight.  Took me 40:33, which is kind of ew.  Better next time!

Thursday (today!)

Endurance WOD

• Allison actually had us do barre exercises (sans barre; just held the wall).  Hold the leg for 10 seconds at waist height, followed by 10 grand battements (controlled straight-leg kicks to waist height or higher), doing each leg to the front, back and side.  We repeated the whole deal 3 times, although I only did it twice because I came in late.
• Rowing, rowing, rowing.  12 rounds of 1 minute on, 30 seconds rest, pacing to keep the speed as steady as possible all the way through.  I started out at a pace of 2:00/500m and kept pretty closely to that to the end.

Strength

• Warm-up: used a PVC pipe for shoulder pass-throughs and around-the-worlds, then worked on snatch progressions for about 10 minutes
• 5 sets of 5 snatches, as heavy as possible.  This is the hardest of the lifting moves for me because it's incredibly technical: you have to think about your feet coming out (but not too much) and your knees staying in and your hips being extended and your elbows coming up and about 50 other things all at once.  I'm starting to get a bit of a flow, though...and I no longer fall down EVERY time.  Made it with 33lbs for the first two sets, followed by 43, 53 and 63, which is a PR :D

WOD:

• Tabata sledgehammer swings, 20 seconds on/10 seconds off for 4 minutes.  My official score (lowest number of reps in any round) was 11; got up to 14 on a couple though.

Tomorrow we're doing deadlifts.  I'm ridiculously excited.

I also found out tonight that Coach Peter Parker has a motorcycle.  I seriously had no idea until I saw him all suited up and carrying his helmet.  He's all cool now!  You're a lucky lady, Bea ;)

-Nelly

...and then a WIN

via

 So the last time I attempted to find my max weight for the back squat, we were doing the CrossFit Total workout.  It's entirely lifting: overhead press, back squat and deadlift, as heavy on each as you can go.  I got a solid 165 for the back squat that day (also when I hit my standing deadlift max of 185), but when I tried to go higher (I can't remember if I tried for 170 or 175), I slipped at the bottom of the squat and rolled the bar down my back, leaving some very pretty bruises all the way down my spine.  Not so much the fun times.

Today, however, was much better.  Warmed up with a 45-lb bar, then did 3 reps each of 85, 100, 115 and 130, followed by 1 rep each of 145, 152.5, 160 and then attempts at a new 1-rep max.  .  For this move (as with all squats), it's super important to go below parallel - that is, your hips need to be below your knees - at the bottom, so your glutes engage and take the strain off your quads and knees.  I was sharing a rack with Katja i.e. Awesome Tall Yoga Lady, and something we both noticed was that the higher the weight, the easier it was to get lower (duh, I know) but the less it felt like you were going so low.  I started to worry that I really wasn't going low enough on the heavy lifts, but Dave said it looked just fine, so I tried not to worry or force it too much.

So 160 seemed heavy, but not too heavy.  Katja and I both hit 165, my previous max, without too much grunting, so we moved it up to 170 and stuck that one just fine too, which is her new 1RM, so yay Katja!.  We were running out of time, so I tried once more for 175 and...made the hell out of it :D  I'm even sure I could have done a little heavier! 

I can lift things that weigh considerably more than I do.

I just love saying that.

:D

-Nelly

FAIL

Crossfit killed me last night.

All said, it wasn't an insanely difficult workout.  There was 15ish minutes of freestanding handstand practice for which I helped spot; anything more than a very slow and controlled tuck into a headstand, by the wall, with my eyes screwed as tightly shut as I can get them tends to evoke primal fear and the feeling of imminent death.  But I'm good at spotting them!  And the ladies I was teamed with (not sure of their names) were great at actually doing them, so that all worked out.

Then, the WOD was as follows:

• 500m row
• 20 burpees
• 15 bent-over rows with 25-lb kettlebells in each hand

5 rounds for time.  This shouldn't have been that hard.  Pace yourself on the rows and take the burpees 5 or so at a time and you're golden.  But...I couldn't.

I noticed it pretty quickly.  After the first round of rowing and about 10 burpees, I already felt completely sapped.  I kept going for as long as I could, but eventually gave up after only 4 rounds...which took me 30:55 (including several minutes in child's pose thinking about how I might be able to blend into the floor mats long enough to sneak out the door).  That's ridiculous and pitiful and I'm more than a little annoyed with myself.

It's not that I felt overly exhausted, or sick, or anything like that.  My muscles didn't hurt, they just felt incredibly weak - like they were constantly on the point of failing me all together, leaving me to collapse.  And my body - and my muscles in general - are one of the very few things in my life that I feel like I do have control of.  I can't get back the years I lost to being stupid in college, without which I'd have had my degree years ago.  I can't, with my current job, make enough to support myself without working over 50 hours a week (I did the math).  I can't snap my fingers and have The Man's family financially set and stable enough for him to be free to move to NC, so we can actually be a real, geographically-together couple after almost two and a half years of being 600 miles apart.  But I can (or should be able to) master my own body enough to make it get through a tough-but-not-impossible workout that really shouldn't have taken longer than 20-25 minutes, tops.

Blarg.

But now I'm gonna eat this poached egg, put on a shirt and my game face, get back in there and do better.  Because sometimes that's the only thing you can do.  And poached eggs are delicious.

via

-Nelly

PS: I did in fact do a whole lot better at today's workout: very solid on the presses, focusing on form, with 70lbs as the max weight for today, and then finished the WOD (3 rounds of 10 deadlifts with 115 lbs (which should have been 135 at least) and 150 single-under jump-ropes) in 7:51.  Not bad.

Bleah.

Today's blog title comes to us from the wonderful mind of Charles Schultz. The Peanuts kids (and Snoopy!) use it to denote disgust or nausea, and also to snub people who have just said something particularly mean or stupid.

I find it wonderfully evocative of my past several days.

A lot of it is to blame on dear old Lady Red. She's the reason it feels like rats are gnawing out my uterus. However...I'm the reason I had pizza for lunch at work instead of a salad. And a second helping of everything during Family Chinese and Movie Night. And at least two more cups of coffee per day than I should be having.

Because of all this lovely stuff I'm filling my body with, combined with the wonderful symptoms of That Time of the Month, I feel heavy as lead, fuzzy-minded throughout the day, and ridiculously prone to displays of over-emotionality. So when the speaker at my financial education class yesterday referred to all 20-somethings who live with their parents as "lost causes," I just...

...didn't say a thing. I was too taken aback at the thought that a man who seemed both intelligent and committed to the idea of helping people understand and manage their finances, despite personal histories, would make such an insulting and alienating blanket statement when one of the (many) targets of that statement was sitting directly in front of him.

My re-imagining of how the scene might have gone otherwise on the drive back had a whole lot more yelling, expletives and personal insults about his relationship with his mother. But after I wore myself out with that, I'm still intensely frustrated, sickened and saddened that, especially in obviously difficult times like this, the stigma of not being able to make it on your own is strong enough that I'm still a punchline, no matter how hard I'm working to take advantage of the situation in order to end it as soon as possible and give myself the best chance of survival once I do.

Hence, bleah.

I've been surviving on cherries, milk and amam's delicious slow-cooked fish-and-veg soup for the past couple days. Felt the strong need for simple comfort foods for a while. And some coffee, natch.

Highlight of the weekend: on Saturday I took a long run (well, for me - about 3.5 miles total, as far as I can guess) with a good long solitary swim in the Little River right in the middle! I used to go down there almost every day. I miss being a waterbaby.

Time for more tea. I'll post more later, perhaps.

Monster mangoes and baby blueberries

Yes, this is a post about tits. Well, partially. The blueberries are from my breakfast.

1/4 c rolled oats, 1/4 c oat bran, 1 c 2% milk, a splash of vanilla and ridiculous amounts of blueberries...

...combined with 1 oz cheese, coffee my love, morning paper, morning sunshine and a very happy morning cat.

Hopped out of bed at 615, bummed around until 7, went for a 1.5 mi run amid bindweed, pine, heavy shimmering golden air (ah, humidity) and the inevitable torrent of birdsong. I saw two birds I didn't recognise: one that I thought might be a purple finch but which was a bit larger than described and also much more vivid - imagine a cross between eggplant and fuchsia on the head and shoulders, dark brown to black on the lower body and tail. The other had a wren-like silhouette, but was again much larger, and lighter in color.

Anyways, boobs. Is this a normal occurrence? During about the week and a half before Lady Red shows up, good ol' Ralphie and Louie (yes I made that up) go all Hulk on me and turn into their alter egos, Shock and Awe (no I did not make that up). They grow literally 2.5 to 3 sizes: from a largeish C to an easy E. Not even joking. It's insane. It's like every month or so, they get this urge to relive their glory days when I was at my biggest and most bodacious, whether the rest of my body wants to go along with them or not. Even my most serious ironclad tactical sports bra, which I picked specifically because it had been raved about as being perfect for those ladies with an extra helping of blessings, does close to nothing. I end up running for stretches just clutching my chest to keep them subdued, giving heart attacks to the nice old men doing their morning constitutionals and getting Glares of Slow and Painful Death from their wives.

Questions for the lurkers: Do other girls have this problem? Are there any bras that actually help with this level of craziness? Is there a point at which the knife is worth it? Got any boob stories of your own to share?

-N

3Oct09

Running etc

• 1x around the neighborhood with Maggie
• Mag's exercise deal: she puts on 4 songs of similar length and then does different exercises to each. She did various crunches and stuff like that. I did full situps for the first, pushups and plank for the second, side plank and queen's chair for the third and then some cleans with a 15-lb dumbbell during the second but it was too light (this includes resting, usually in child's pose, in between sets)

Notes: She can run faster and farther than me, and although she'd never say it out loud, she kind of enjoys that. Sometimes it pushes me and sometimes I just feel fat and slow.

Breakfast

• 1 little strawberry yoghurt
• 1 poached egg
• ~1 c 2% milk
• 1 slice swiss cheese
• 1 medium apple
• ~12 oz french vanilla coffee with 2% milk (so girly!)

Notes: I do love coffee in the morning. Maybe I should just break down and get a bag of nice decaf. And wake up early enough that it wouldn't make a difference.

Kind of related to all this food and exercise stuff: went out shopping with Maggie, after having asked her to help me start dressing better. She gave me an armload of clothes that contained several pairs of size 8 jeans. I can't remember ever getting smaller than a 10, even back in high school. But oh my gods. They fit. They're a little snug but not uncomfortably so, and they look hot as hell.

Dinner

• 1 mini veggie deluxe burrito
• 1 Corona with lime

Notes: Went to Cosmic. Probably should have had half then and half later, but jeebus they are so good, and I hadn't eaten all day.

Dancing!

• Swing dancing from 7:30-10:50 at the Armory

Notes: OMG I LOVE DANCING SO MUCH! There was this adorable boy there whose aunt and uncle had brought him and were teaching him how to dance. So cute! But my legs are going to be sooo sore. I need to get some shoes to dance in that won't come off!

1Oct09

Breakfast

• 1 fried egg with 1T olive oil
  
• 1 c 2% milk
• 1 little strawberry yoghurt
• 6 almonds

Notes: W00t Zone! I think I didn't have enough carbs though.

During the day

• ~1.5 London Fogs - ~6 oz Earl Grey tea, 1 squirt vanilla syrup, ~2 oz hot whole milk. Yum!

Notes: Dude this thing is so much better than coffee. I think I'm in love. Also needs a lot less milk and sugar to counteract the bitterness.

Lunch

• ~1c green beans with tomatoes
  
• ~1/2 c tabbouleh
• ~1/2 c beets
• 4 crackers
• 3 baked pita triangles
• ~3 oz cheese (mozz and cheddar)
• like 7 little red grapes
  

Notes: OMG I love beets!

Also during the day

• ~4 oz frappe remnants

Duke Wall

• 1x around with Megan (and a sprint to get in front of the cute guy walking after we had cooled down, even though she wouldn't do it :P)
  

Dinner

• 9 pc salmon sushi
• ~3/4 c squid salad
• some milk, I think

Notes: I love running with Megan. Even if we're both tired as hell and can only do once around, it just feels like an escape.