1Feb10

Lunch (as it were)

• 3-4 oz mozzarella and cheddar
• ~10 grapes
• 2 pita crisp triangles
• 3 wheat crackers

Notes: Yes, that was it. No, I didn't have breakfast.

Dinner

• 1 c chili
• 1 string cheese
• 1/2 c cucumber raita
• about 5 or 6 cloves of pickled garlic (because i was famished and it was there, and also for the immune boost. gods know i need it now)

Notes: My job is fucking insane. I need to be doing something where I don't burst into tears as soon as I get in the car to come home. Got stuck in the snow 2 miles from the place, walked there over a sidewalk entirely covered with frozen footprints in deep snow turned to ice (read: prime ankle-breaking area) and still managed to get there only 10 minutes late.

Found out that the new guy (the one I was worried about replacing or interloping my spot) has stress issues in his spine so severe that if he doesn't change his life now he'll be in a wheelchair in 10 years. Talked to Boss F about my concerns about being out of the loop and possibly being replaced or whatnot, and it turned into a discussion about how I shouldn't have had T even in the same building as the cafe while I was working there (as well as not taking initiative). She also talked to the new guy and ended up sending him home early while she thought about whether she could still use him in his present condition. He left in tears.

So it was me and Maritza alone for another couple of hours, with F stepping in when Maritza went on her break - covering ok fine, but still leaving myriad tiny messes everywhere she went. Finally, she kept me an hour after I should have left trying to teach me ordering. It's always like this - she has people do important tasks or learn stuff they really need to know at the busiest or least opportune of times (like when she had the new guy do inventory of EVERYTHING during the biggest rush of the day when he didn't even know where everything was yet).

Talked to T on the way back and got a lot of swift kicks in the ass about how I'm killing myself and seriously hurting things between us the more I continue with this job. This is NOT where I want to be. I can't keep getting up long before dawn, working without a break most of the time for up to 9 hours straight, hobbling home and collapsing in tears, then attempting to take some time for school and myself before collapsing into bed for my scant few hours of "rest." It's wearing me down to nothing and I can't afford to go on like this.

Well, that was cathartic. Going now to make tea and probably eat some more.

• 3 slices frozen (well, not when I ate it) pizza with mushrooms and spinach
• 1 small glass 2% milk
• 1 Yuengling