I'm still here

Just got back from another trip to Ohio. I've returned with

• newly cropped hair
  
• a much-lightened schedule
  
• heavier issues on my mind
• a slightly better state of mind about the various body image distortions and disorders I have
• wonderful memories of walking hand-in-hand in the sunshine, being asked to dance (yes!!! he asked me!!! i didn't have to twist any body parts at all!!!!!!!), "watching movies" and reading to each other in bed until we fall asleep
• a tightness in the back of my throat first thing in the morning, when I wake up to find the dream has ended yet again and the other side of the bed is empty

Things are changing, and yet right now they are very much the same. I'm not going to do one of those "now here's the overhaul to end all overhauls!" posts, because they never seem to stick and I end up feeling stupid.

I'm going to keep journaling my food and exercise, but I won't necessarily put it all here - I know it can get boring when I get into a food rut and still list everything. And hopefully I can add more of actual daily events and thoughts (hence the "jour" part of that word. get it? get it? thank you, high school french) without straying too far from the original purpose of this blog: a place for me to write down what I feel I need to, for whatever purpose - healthy lifestyle, venting, which ever seems to fit at the moment.

So yeah. This blog is still active. It just likes to take naps every now and then. I'm gonna be trying to poke it so it stays awake most of the time now, though.

-N