Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Here goes my dignity...

Alternate title for this post: The One Where Nelly Strips.  Just get it all out there.

First off, the method:  I'm doing this 21-day cleanse-y type dealio, coached through it by Stew, one of the dudes who teaches at CrossFit Durham.  On Monday he measured all the stats I'm about to share and gave me the wherewithal to do the diet.   There's a series of capsules to take along with a couple huge tubs of protein powder to replace what I'm no longer getting from bacon *tear*  It works like an elimination diet - get all the possible bad stuff out all at once, then slowly introduce it back and see how you feel.  Which means for the first week, I'm pretty much vegan.  The shakes* aren't too bad yet, but I honestly think I might murder someone for an omelette by Saturday.  For a steak...I don't even want to speculate.

Now, the stats.

Weight: 160.  Higher than I thought it would be, but not too bad.

BMI: 25.06.  This is classified as overweight.  I can lift over 200 pounds, jump over 30 inches and I did barefoot sprints on the road today.  'Nuff said.

Body Fat Percentage: 26.3.  This means I've got about 42 pounds of fat and 118 pounds of lean mass.  That's definitely a little higher than I'd like, which is one of the reasons I'm doing this.  The tricky part is getting the abs and keeping the T&A.

Total Body Water: 43.3L/59.7%.  Stew says this should be closer to 70%; I guess I'm a little dehydrated.

Basal Metabolic Rate: 1540 kCal/day.  One of the goals is to raise this, which is done by gaining muscle.  Yes please!

Daily Energy Expenditure: 2002 kCal.  I don't know what this one means.  Anyone?

Waist: 30.5 inches

Hips: 41 inches.  So I've got a waist-to-hip ratio of right about 0.75.  Which, biologically speaking, means I'm sexy.  Awesome.

And now the pics.  Warning: although Bea is the most amazing photographer ever, she couldn't disguise my post-WOD sans makeup glory.  View at your own risk.
 why hello there!  no, i don't tan much.  why do you ask?

whatever you do don't look at my weird little toe

ass like a BAMF

I guess it says a little something about my body image that the first things to go through my mind when I saw these were "wow, I need  some braces like yeah whoa" and "damn, I want some more tattoos!"  Rather than a blench and shudder, I mean.  Getting better...but I will say I kinda like my ass :)

I've come a long way in the 2.5ish years I've been in the box (and the one before this one, too!).  I'm pretty damn strong, and I'm getting stronger.  And now I want the abs to prove it.  I've got a plethora of methods to try (this cleanse, another Whole30, a bout with IF, 4-Hour Body, etc) that I'm pretty excited about.  And I'm not ashamed to admit that yeah, I love being strong and I'm gonna keep working at that, but my main motivator (at least right now) is to be drop dead sexy.  And then I'm gonna get some fuck-me heels and a tiny little miniskirt and OWN that strut.  And then lose the shoes and do some bodyweight snatches.  Hell yeah.


*when I first wrote that I was actually referring to the shakes you get when you go through withdrawal.  but the protein shakes aren't that bad either.  try cucumber+avocado+kiwi, a la Finn.  NOM!


  1. Woot woot! You go girl!

    First of all, I think you look awesome, but I'm also totally impressed with you putting it all out there!

    The thing about BMI is that it doesn't take into account muscle mass at all, which weighs more than fat, and thus isn't really an accurate measurement for people with a lot of muscle (cough you).

    As for BMR v. Daily expenditure...BMR is basically how many calories your body would need if you were just going to lay in bed and do nothing all day. Daily energy expenditure is how many calories you burn just by doing normal every day things and getting out of bed.

  2. ok. in all honesty...

    DAYUM GURL! It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out.


    No? ec *checks little book of cheese

    *achem* If you were a sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'd be a McGorgeous...actualy that's probably not appropriate on a paleo food blog...

    *rifles through book

    You must be good at the flute cause you sure charm my sn- actually thats a bit blunt.....

    um....I'd marry your cat to get in the family. :D

  3. Thanks for explaining that, Joanne! So the only difference between sleeping all day and getting up and about like a normal person is 500 I can sleep til noon, laze around all day and then run 5 miles and still break even, right? :D And thank you for the compliment :)

    Finn. Oh, Finn. I'm glad I'm off the dairy right now, because that would probably have made milk come out of my nose. Speaking of milk, I know they say it does a body good, but seriously, how much have you been drinking?? You look so tasty I could pour you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit ("biscuit" is American for "scone," except better). But enough about semantics. Sugar, if you were writing on a page, you'd be what they call FIIINE PRINT!

  4. Um, I like this Finn fella.

  5. Amy: this Finn fella is seriously da bomb. Da AWESOME bomb. And he's British, so imagine everything he says in a sexy accent.

  6. Ya know, you really shouldn't get people all excited by saying you're gonna strip, only to then leave on some clothing that, although small, still covers up the best parts(read: naughty bits) And its not even white so I can't try and squint and convince myself i can see through them. Way to be a tease Nelly.