Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Bleah.

Today's blog title comes to us from the wonderful mind of Charles Schultz. The Peanuts kids (and Snoopy!) use it to denote disgust or nausea, and also to snub people who have just said something particularly mean or stupid.

I find it wonderfully evocative of my past several days.

A lot of it is to blame on dear old Lady Red. She's the reason it feels like rats are gnawing out my uterus. However...I'm the reason I had pizza for lunch at work instead of a salad. And a second helping of everything during Family Chinese and Movie Night. And at least two more cups of coffee per day than I should be having.

Because of all this lovely stuff I'm filling my body with, combined with the wonderful symptoms of That Time of the Month, I feel heavy as lead, fuzzy-minded throughout the day, and ridiculously prone to displays of over-emotionality. So when the speaker at my financial education class yesterday referred to all 20-somethings who live with their parents as "lost causes," I just...

...didn't say a thing. I was too taken aback at the thought that a man who seemed both intelligent and committed to the idea of helping people understand and manage their finances, despite personal histories, would make such an insulting and alienating blanket statement when one of the (many) targets of that statement was sitting directly in front of him.

My re-imagining of how the scene might have gone otherwise on the drive back had a whole lot more yelling, expletives and personal insults about his relationship with his mother. But after I wore myself out with that, I'm still intensely frustrated, sickened and saddened that, especially in obviously difficult times like this, the stigma of not being able to make it on your own is strong enough that I'm still a punchline, no matter how hard I'm working to take advantage of the situation in order to end it as soon as possible and give myself the best chance of survival once I do.

Hence, bleah.

I've been surviving on cherries, milk and amam's delicious slow-cooked fish-and-veg soup for the past couple days. Felt the strong need for simple comfort foods for a while. And some coffee, natch.

Highlight of the weekend: on Saturday I took a long run (well, for me - about 3.5 miles total, as far as I can guess) with a good long solitary swim in the Little River right in the middle! I used to go down there almost every day. I miss being a waterbaby.

Time for more tea. I'll post more later, perhaps.

2 comments:

  1. Babe, I think we all have days like this...I ate half a carton of ice cream yesterday...so I feel you. Trying to get unguilty about it this morning. And just move forward. That's all you can do.

    That dude sounds like an ass. Almost all of my high school friends are back living at home because it just makes more sense to spend time saving up. In fact, if I weren't in school I would probably be living at home. Don't let him get you down!

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  2. Thanks a ton, Joanne. Yep, I'm really trying to do the whole don't-look-back-just-keep-going thing. Tea makes everything better, as well.

    Yeah, I know I'm far from the only one, especially in these tough times - which just makes it even more of an asinine thing to say. Meh. I'll show him! Grrr.

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