Back from heaven, again

Heaven can be, and certainly has been for me, a lot of different places.  Some of the memorable ones don't seem overly special at all - a porch flooded with morning sun but warmed mostly by coffee and conversation; the soft grass under a tree and the stars on a warm summer night; the couch beside a blazing Christmas tree, the only light in the house.  And now I get to add another one to my list.  I'll let The Man present it to you, because he does it so very well:

tada!

We went to the Outer Banks!  He and a friend took a Spring Break road trip from Ohio down to Georgia for a few days to see the sights and chill with his family there, then they hopped over to my place for the rest of the time.  Now, I don't know if you know this, but if you are ever in North Carolina with a car and some spare time, you must see the Outer Banks.  Seriously.  It's written into our state constitution. 

They got in late on Tuesday night.  I don't think I slept a wink the night before, and the day was spent in rushing around trying to get everything ready for the visit.  I told them (two over-6-foot black men with big appetites) that I'd have dinner waiting when they got there, and decided on roasted chicken and vegetables.  Apparently there's some kind of private joke about black people loving chicken; I had no idea of this.  But it was the first tome I'd ever cooked meat for The Man (last time I saw him, at Thanksgiving, I was still pescetarian!), so I wanted to do it right, and not to brag or anything but I am kind of the queen at roasting chickens.

I was so excited I forgot to take any pictures of this, but you guys have to try it!  Joanne, I'm looking at you here.  Followed this recipe from the indefatigable Mark Sisson, and holy gods is it ever worth the trouble.  The secret is in smothering the bird with herbed butter - it's spectacular.  The men got in just as everything was finishing up, so I turned off the heat, ran outside and performed my signature greeting-the-boyf move (I call it the run-and-jump; from his perspective it's probably the grab-and-spin.  yes, so stereotypical rom-com, I know), then herded them inside to nom on delicious tender thyme-flavored bird and wash it down with this amazing $3 wine I found at WF.  And there's another piece of heaven you guys need to visit as often as possible - homemade food and cheap wine consumed at the kitchen table around 10:30 pm, with good friends and plenty of laughter :)

So the next day, we went grocery shopping to stock up for the trip, then hit the road.  Our friend Ellison had never been to NC before, so we stopped along the way to check out Duke Gardens and Duke Chapel, some more must-sees if you're ever in Durham. And then it was off to the coast, stopping only once to briefly stretch our legs.  My baby Lucille is good for a lot of things, but I have to admit that she isn't big on leg room if the passengers are over 6 feet tall.  We finally got to the motor lodge where we'd reserved a room, but the office was closed and we had to call the owner several times before she finally picked up - a bit of an annoyance, as it was cold and crazy windy, but she'd just gotten a new cell phone with an unfamiliar ring and literally ran from her house to the inn office to let us in!  AND, on top of that, when we discovered that our room hadn't been cleaned from the previous guests, we got upgraded at no charge to one of the best rooms on the lot: oceanfront, with two queen beds and a full kitchenette.

And then, for the next day and a half, it was pure bliss.  It was too cold (and part of the time, even stormy) to go swimming, but there were long walks on the beach and romantic dinners and an omelette-off between The Man and me (I won, hands down :D) and more cheap wine and LOTS more laughs.  And there was the best way of all to hear "I love you:" first thing in the morning, with the sky barely beginning to glow and the sound of the surf in the distance, and the softest kiss on your forehead.  (Whether or not this was to avoid morning dragon breath, I will not speculate).

the only full day we had there it was stormy and freezing

The day we left, it was brilliantly sunny and we had a ton of fun playing with the waves.  I was behind the camera most of the time, so here are some shots of the boys having fun:

chillin like they do

uh-oh...

run!

runnnn!

I am not ashamed to admit that my photo-taking style depended heavily on lining them up to pose, then waiting til the waves were just about to hit them before snapping the pic.

Hey, if it gets me great shots like this, then I say it works :)

Bottom line?  You've heard that quote about how "hell is other people," I'm sure.  Well, as it turns out, the reverse is just as true.

-N

Laundry day conversation

You know the day I mean.  You look into your closet or dresser, pull out the very last outfit you can possibly put together without resorting to knee socks and cocktail dresses, and think "Yep."  Then you suit up as quickly as possible and tiptoe out of the room, trying to avoid eye contact with the teetering mountain of fabric as it sits there, looming at you.

In my case, the laundry-day outfit usually isn't too crazy.  I have a ton of old tee-shirts from high school and college - for plays I've been in, concerts I went to, the sorority I was in for about a week, etc. - but the lower half is slightly more difficult to clothe.  My thighs have this awesome power to eventually shred the inner thighs of every single pair of jeans I've ever owned.  I've got about four pairs of these sad sacks - they're actually starting to look more like chaps than jeans, except the ass isn't worn off (yet) - in my dresser, dreaming of the day when I will be handy enough with needle and thread to fix them up.  For now, I mostly just wear them anyways and keep my knees together.

Today, however, I'm going to my chiropractor.  Something tells me he wouldn't be amused if he got me all twisted up, trying to snap whichever part of my body defies me today into place, and suddenly my pants decided to finally give out all together.  Well, at least I hope "amusement" wouldn't be on the list of emotions.

But anyways.  I reached for a pair of pants that are still somehow intact, but which I almost never wear anymore, because they fit so oddly.  They're trouser pants in this really thin, kinda stretchy pinstripe material, and they're almost tight on my quads but really loose everywhere else.  As in, I don't have to unzip or unbutton them to put them on.  So they just look weird.  But they cover the naughty bits, so they'll have to do.

So I wandered down to the kitchen, grabbed a frying pan and started chatting with Amam as it heated up.  I looked down at my pants.  "You know," I said, "these pants used to be my skin-tight go-clubbing-in pants."  No really, it's true!  I can't even picture how that worked now, but I used to only be able to button them without discomfort on a "skinny" day.

She nodded.  "You've made a lot of strides!"

I smiled a self-satisfactory little smile, confident in the fact that damn, that is true.  I gloated for a moment, but only in the cute way.  And then I thought...

"I think the biggest stride I've made is the fact that my "weight goal" is now something that I want to LIFT, as opposed to something I want to BE."

I think I amazed myself a little bit with that statement - I've been pondering on it ever since.  That difference - the complete 180 mindset shift - really is the biggest and most wonderful change I could have hoped for, in this entire quest for health I've been on for gods know how long.  Of course I'm not immune to the bad-body-image demons - there are days when I entertain thoughts of going on a crash diet and losing the few bits of pudge that still drive me crazy...but then I go to CrossFit, and remember how important and awesome it is to fuel yourself with clean, delicious food.  The more I take the time to fuel myself correctly, the better I feel, the more I can lift and do, and the stronger I am.  And I LOVE that.

And then I ate three eggs cooked in butter for breakfast.  True story.

Lurkers: Tell me something you love about yourself.

-Nelly

What's for breakfast? PALEO SEX MUFFINS (recipe!)

Do you read Finn's blog?  If not, you should.  Like right now.  He has no hair, he swears more than I do and he is infinitely sexable.  And he made a muffin recipe just for me, because he's awesome.  Here it is!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup coconut flour
• 1 cup almond flour
• 1 tsp each ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, honey and baking powder
• 2 eggs
• about 1 to 1.5 cups of Medjool dates, de-stoned

I ground my own flour for these.  It's super simple - I have a heavy-duty spice/coffee grinder that I use solely to grind nut flours and the like.  Just fill it up (not too full), pulse til the desired fineness is reached, dump out and repeat.

Sift all the dry ingredients together.  This part is mostly to get the baking powder completely mixed in.  Near the end, there were a bunch of gritty almond pieces that wouldn't go through the sifter, so I just dumped them on in for more texture.

Whisk the eggs and honey together.  This might be difficult.  Just do what you can.  I didn't have acacia honey, so I used good ol' Blue Ridge Parkway deliciousness.

yay!

Dump the wet ingredients into the dry ones and mix together until everything has the same consistency.  Then add the dates and mix until they're thoroughly combined.  Using your hands is best here, really.  It's a little messy, but it works.

Grease a muffin tin (I used coconut oil) and go to town.  These don't rise too much, so make them as big as you want them to end up.

At this point, if you are reading Finn's recipe too, remember that he uses Celsius.  It would take a really, really long time to bake these to doneness at 180 Fahrenheit, as I realised after about 10 minutes.  The proper temperature here is about 325-350 for 15ish minutes, baked in the lower-to-middle section of the oven so the tops don't scorch.  Keep an eye on them, changing the time and temperature as you see fit.

Enjoy! 

-Nelly

Six inches can seem like a lot more than it is

...and I'm not even referring to the naughty context! 

Finally, a CrossFit Update!  I've been out of the gym with the flu of death for the last week and a half, so it was awesome to get back into the swing of things.  Here's what I've been doing:

Tuesday

Strength

• 50 strict GHD machine back/hip extensions (the third move shown in this video.  Turn your sound down before you hit the link; it's got loud screamy music).  These kind of terrify me - as does anything where I'm in an upside-down-ish position - especially as the machine has the tendency to wobble a lot.  Coach Peter Parker (aka Rich)  helped out by holding my ankles while I did the move.  Don't laugh.  It helped a lot.  Thanks, Rich :)

WOD: Birthday WOD for Coach Too-Cute-To-Hate (aka Mike).  Yay!
AMRAP for 9 minutes:

• 9 deadlifts
• 6 squat cleans
• 3 jerks (I did split jerks for the first round and then push jerks)

Got 5 full rounds and 5 more deadlifts out of that, with 65lbs on the bar.  Then, after 3 minutes rest:

• AMRAP burpees for 3 minutes.  I totally lost count here and have no idea what I did.

The "six inches" thing comes into play here: for each burpee, we had to jump at least 6 inches high.  After a dozen of these, you kinda start to feel it.

Wednesday

Strength: 20ish minutes of L-sit progressions/practice.  I can only get about 10 seconds, but it's pretty solid.

WOD: freaking insane, and I kind of sucked at it.
4 rounds for time of:

• 500m row
• 3 rounds of "Cindy:" 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, 15 air squats

So for every round there's a total of 500m row, 15 pull-ups, 30 push-ups and 45 air squats.  Monster bitch.  I had to sub out one-handed KB snatches for push-ups on the last round because my shoulder slipped, but other than that it was straight.  Took me 40:33, which is kind of ew.  Better next time!

Thursday (today!)

Endurance WOD

• Allison actually had us do barre exercises (sans barre; just held the wall).  Hold the leg for 10 seconds at waist height, followed by 10 grand battements (controlled straight-leg kicks to waist height or higher), doing each leg to the front, back and side.  We repeated the whole deal 3 times, although I only did it twice because I came in late.
• Rowing, rowing, rowing.  12 rounds of 1 minute on, 30 seconds rest, pacing to keep the speed as steady as possible all the way through.  I started out at a pace of 2:00/500m and kept pretty closely to that to the end.

Strength

• Warm-up: used a PVC pipe for shoulder pass-throughs and around-the-worlds, then worked on snatch progressions for about 10 minutes
• 5 sets of 5 snatches, as heavy as possible.  This is the hardest of the lifting moves for me because it's incredibly technical: you have to think about your feet coming out (but not too much) and your knees staying in and your hips being extended and your elbows coming up and about 50 other things all at once.  I'm starting to get a bit of a flow, though...and I no longer fall down EVERY time.  Made it with 33lbs for the first two sets, followed by 43, 53 and 63, which is a PR :D

WOD:

• Tabata sledgehammer swings, 20 seconds on/10 seconds off for 4 minutes.  My official score (lowest number of reps in any round) was 11; got up to 14 on a couple though.

Tomorrow we're doing deadlifts.  I'm ridiculously excited.

I also found out tonight that Coach Peter Parker has a motorcycle.  I seriously had no idea until I saw him all suited up and carrying his helmet.  He's all cool now!  You're a lucky lady, Bea ;)

-Nelly

Beautiful

Good food is just gorgeous.  All these pictures were taken sporadically, and each time I was just struck by how positively artful real, natural food is.  Not even artful - it is art!  Take a look:

Plain omelette with the most perfect yellow bell pepper strips and brussel sprouts, roasted and then tossed around in a hot pan for a minute.  The darkest, sweetest cherries.

My lunch right now: red cabbage, brussel sprouts and onion, roasted til fragrant and flaky.  Just look at that cabbage!  It's like a gem!

Photographic evidence of the best chicken soup ever, for the nonbelievers.  The stock turned out so rich that I cut it about half-and-half with water to make this, and it was still exploding with flavor. 

Disclaimer: I use a free photo-editing program called PicSay (link is to the "pro," paid version) on pictures taken with the coolest phone in the world.  All I do is heighten the saturation just a little, until the picture on the screen more closely matches what I see.  Still learning how to use it but I think I do ok for now.

What is your favorite-looking food?

-Nelly

Vicious cycle

So last time I posted in any real length, I had just finished my first Whole30, and was absolutely thrilled with the results - significantly increased energy, mental acuity, the avoidance (for the most part) of SAD and trichotillomania, general feelings of health and vitality and of course the slightly-more-visible abs in the mirror.  I considered it a huge accomplishment and was immensely proud of myself.  And, as a reward for "being good," I was going to stop "denying myself" all those treats I'd been avoiding.

Yes.  I would reward myself.  With food.  (But in moderation, of course.)

Well...it just didn't work.  It never has.  And I'm ashamed at how many times I've performed that same routine, thinking that it would turn out better this time.  Because at the very core of how I want to view food is the complete avoidance of seeing certain foods, especially ones that I know are bad for me, as "rewards," and seeing good, healthy, clean eating that makes my body work like it's supposed to as some incredibly tough act that I have to cajole myself into doing, and then praise and treat myself like there's no tomorrow when I actually do it.

But every time I do feel accomplished enough to treat myself and ease off slightly from strictly clean eating, that treat inevitably leads to a backslide.  At first I am the very soul of moderation: just a dash of cream in my coffee on one day, then a square of dark chocolate another, then a glass of wine a few days later.  And then my brain starts to warp, and I think, if I can handle this much "bad food" and still feel pretty good, what's wrong with a little more hedonism?  I start to have sugar in my coffee a little more often, or duck in the back at work for a handful of chocolate chips just because I'm stressed and annoyed, or steal a few handfuls of my employee's fries even though I know there's delicious healthy food waiting for me at the house.  Meals start being based around cheese and fruit (and chocolate)  instead of meat or eggs and veggies.  I start to feel worse and I have less energy, meaning I'm more likely to skip workouts, meaning I'm more likely to feel even crappier.  My sleep and mood start to suffer.  And then it all just goes to hell, by which I mean the breakfast of nothing but 6 cups of fully-caffeinated coffee with cream that made me (and my poor bowels) realise that it's high time to clean up the act. 

I have to stop seeing clean eating as a finite act.  If it's just a "bout" that I go through, whether it's for 30 days or a year, it ends up culminating in one brief shining moment of glorious accomplishment, followed by far too long a period of doing the one thing I should NOT do when it comes to eating, which is eating crap that I know will make me feel bad for no other reason than it tastes good right now and I feel like I earned the right to reward myself.

...wait. You know what this makes me think of?



There is no occasion whatsoever where a Bill Cosby quote (or even a full routine) is not totally apt.

But anyways.  My biggest issue here is learning to see clean eating as not just something that I have to complete.  It should be the means to an end: I should eat well so I AM well (and fit and happy), plain and simple.  Is there room in that scheme for cookies and wine?  Absolutely, as long as it's based on an event or something I'm sharing with a friend, and never just because I want to, or think I deserve it.

I'm gonna wrap this up here.  I've got some other stuff (in particular, this photo-dieting fad and what I think of it) to talk about, but I think this is enough for now.

In other news, I made chicken soup from complete scratch this morning, with my own homemade stock, and I bet it was even better than Colin's. So there!

-Nelly

Super-quick update

So at today's WOD (which was aMAZing, sledgehammer swings are the best!), we worked on deadlifts for the strength portion, figuring out a new 1-rep max.  If you guys remember, my last 1RM was 185 and I was very very proud of it.  Also, I made it one of my 101 in 1001 goals to lift over 210, which is about 1.5 times my bodyweight (as far as I can guess; haven't weighed myself in almost two months now!). 

Welllll...considering the fact that 1001 days is several years, I may have definitely did severely underestimate myself.  My final lift today was 210.  Next goal?  Break 300.  Hopefully that'll keep me working for slightly longer.  Maybe.  :D

-N